When I was 23, I was a slim young naive woman who enjoyed the fact that life was cool and simple and fluffy. - bullshit
Then I fell for a guy who wasn't interested in me, but behaved as if he was. - Piss taking bastard
Then I fell for a guy at 26, who said that we shouldn't go public with our relationship for at least 6 months and when we eventually did, I found out that he was dating 2 other girls.... well, when I did find out, I stated that this wouldn't be tolerated... now may I just state, for the record, that this was the beginning of the end.
Since breaking up, the last bit of innocence that I had left in me at 26, I have been made redundant, lost jobs, gained jobs, helped people, managed projects, got great pay, had to take pay cuts, and the one... the one that I really need to take stock of.... have managed to gain 14lbs in weight.
Since this weight gain, I've noticed the guys that I used to find attractive, don't find me attractive. When I look in the mirror, i don't see the person who I was, but this person who I've become. Someone that starting to look her age. Someone that doesn't look pleasing on the eye anymore. I attract guys, but it ain't the type of guy that I find attractive... so, something needs to give.
I've decided that if I want something to change, then I have to be the one to change it. So, I must start with the weight gain.
Now, what's weird with the weight gain is that I'm still fitting in the clothes that I used to wear, before the weight gain. Odd?? i know, but the weight is there. So, I've decided that I need to join a gym....again... but this time, with the motivation of "If you don't get your ugly fat arse into shape "BITCH" you're gonna end up a sad and lonely Bitch with 48 different species of cat around you."
I think that that's motivation enough.
So, I've put up the pictures of my slimmer self up on my vision board and said, change of food habits... has to be made. Done. (well, I still eat the wheat, but that need changing too)
I have to join a gym and use it's arse, if I'm gonna find myself the man that I want and deserve in my life.
Now, I hear you all saying "You don't need to change yourself to get a man." True, you don't. Essentially, I'd still be the same person I am now, but as I stated... when I was 23 years old, I was a different, but happier person. The world has made me wary and jaded and one of the many discoveries I have made is... If you don't like you, then how you gonna expect someone else to like you.
Right now.... I don't like me very much at all. My arms are the same size as my thighs. My thighs have cellulite cousins. I have back fat. Now, maybe I'd like that shit when I'm in my 70s when the nights get cold and I need to burn less energy heating up my flat/apartment/home, but seriously, that shit ain't doing me noooooooo favours. So, it gots to go.
I weight more than 68kg = 10 stones 7 pounds and at 5'4", that shit needs to go.
I'm hoping to lose about 8 or 9 pounds by the end of the year... and keep it off.
I want to lose the turkey neck that I've noticed forming. I need to tighten up on those "HOUSE" calling Bingo wings that I have for arms.
I need a big change in my life.... and be it unfortunately or fortunately... this is all down to me.
NB.... I also need to stop with the alcohol.... shit!
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